The Black Dot

This is not a wedding ceremony item per se, but rather a life focusing essay that came to us yesterday. We think it is a fantastic reminder and a wonderful piece to have and reflect upon. I am sharing it with as many people as I can.

One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They all waited anxiously at their desks for the exam to begin. The professor handed out the exam with the text facing down, as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked the students to turn over the papers.
To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions, just a black dot in the center of the sheet of paper. The professor, seeing the expression on everyone’s faces, told them the following: “ I want you to write about what you see there” The students, confused, got started on the inexplicable task.
At the end of the class the professor took all the exams and started reading each one of them out loud in front of all the students. All of them, with no exception, defined the black dot, trying to explain its position in the center of the sheet. After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor started to explain: “I am not going to grade you on this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot, and the same happens in out lives. We have a white piece of paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots. Our life is a gift given to us (by God) with love and care and we always have reasons to celebrate: nature renewing itself everyday, our friends around us, the job that provides our livelihood, the miracles we see every day… However, we insist on focusing on the dark spot: The health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relations with family members, the disappointment with a friend. The dark spots are very small when compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds. Take your eyes away from the black dots in your life. Enjoy each one of your blessings; each moment that life gives you. Be happy and live a life filled with love!

And remember from Sesame Street: it is all about the size of where you put your eye, and that’s about the size of it!

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
Please visit our other sites and like us, Thanks.
Why no images in this blog? We feel it is the words you share with each other during your wedding ceremony that are the most important part of your day.

Immortal Beloved

In July of 1812, the composer Ludwig Van Beethoven wrote a letter to an unidentified lover. The letter is brimming with his passion and desire for the two of them to be together. His heart overflows with love and longing for this, his Immortal Beloved. In the letter, he shares with her the broad spectrum of everyday challenges that are keeping them apart: distance, the challenges of travel, bad roads, poor accommodations, and work, even the schedule of the mail-coach. We all too easily sense his profound loss and sadness by his being apart from her.

Last Friday, Sarah and Stephen choose to use a portion of this letter to the Immortal Beloved as one of the readings during their wedding ceremony. What follows is a redacted selection from the original ten page letter.

An excerpt from a letter by Ludwig Van Beethoven to his Immortal Beloved: 

My angel, my everything, my very self, I write only a few words today, using your very pencil.

Can our love exist but by sacrifices, by not demanding everything? Can you change it, that you are not completely mine, that I am not completely yours?

Our love demands everything and completely with good reason, that is how it is for me with you, and for you with me. However, we forget all too easily, that I must live for myself and for you as well, for if we were wholly united, you would not feel this as painfully.

I cannot convey to you my observations, which I made during these few days about my life. If our hearts were always close together, I would have no such thoughts. My heart is full with so much to tell you. Oh, there are moments when I feel that language is nothing at all. Cheer up, remain my faithful only darling, my everything as I am for you. The rest is up to The Gods, for what must be for us and for what is in store for us.

Wherever I am, you are with me. As I talk to myself, I talk to you. Arrange it that I can live with you, and what a life we will have. As it is, I am sick without you.

I can only live either wholly with you or not at all. Yes, I have resolved to stray about in the distance, until I can fly into your arms, and send my soul embraced by you into the realm of the Spirits

Angel, I have just heard that the mail-coach leaves every day and thus I must finish so that you may receive this letter immediately. Be patient, only through quiet contemplation of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together. Be calm, for only by calmly considering our lives can we achieve our purpose of living together.

While still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved. Be calm. Love me today, and yesterday. What tearful longings for you, you my life, my all. Oh continue to love me. Never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved. Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours. Ludwig.



Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

Please visit our other sites and like us, Thanks.

Why no images in this blog?  We feel it is the words you share from and about your heart with each other that are the most important part of your day.



Water Into Wine

We had a wonderful small and intimate wedding celebration this afternoon. (and yes, some weddings are celebrated in the middle of the week). During the ceremony, the couple shared glasses of wine with each other and the following prayer/thought/wish/ desire was shared for them:

“As Jesus began his public ministry at the wedding celebration at Cana transforming water into wine,
 may the two of you continue to transform the water of your everyday into the wine of new life.

May your love transform your vision of the ordinary to see the miracles abounding everywhere.

And, may you grow old knowing that the best wine is saved until last.”

Be a Blessing.


Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

Please visit our other sites and like us, Thanks.

Why no images in this blog?  We feel it is the words you share with each other during your wedding ceremony that are the most important part of your day.

“Gift From the Sea”
 by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Summer is quickly sailing by, and even though near the end of August, there is plenty of time to hold hands walking the beach, hike the mountains, visit wonderful galleries and take in the sun. We are immensely grateful for having experienced so much this summer: beautiful weddings, wonderful couples, an abundant garden, lovely family visits, great gallery openings and fantastic weather. So we would be remiss if we failed to include one of our all time favorite summer reading, good anytime of year, a part of Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s,“Gift From the Sea”

Charlie grew up with having many of his summers at the beach and he remembers this book always being around, it is truly an old friend and sanctuary. Please enjoy this piece whether you are on the beach, the back porch, on the side of a mountain, in the park or on the fire escape.

“When you love someone, you do not love then all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, with in their limits – islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”

So beautiful,

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

Another Irish Blessing

This variation of an Irish Wedding Blessing was used as a reading during a recent ceremony. We especially liked the last verse. Enjoy

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall softly upon your fields.

May the light of friendship
Guide your paths together.
May the laughter of children
Grace the halls of your home.

May the joy of living for one another
Trip a smile from your lips,
A twinkle from your eye
And, today, may the spirit of love
Find a dwelling place in your hearts.

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
Please visit our other sites and like us, Thanks.

Why no images in this blog? We feel the words you share with each other that are the most important part of your ceremony day.

Oscar Wilde and Billy Joel

On Saturday, Kathleen and George celebrated their wedding. They used two pieces for readings that might not ordinarily be associated with a wedding ceremony, however, as unusual as the reading are, they warmly captured the love, lives, spirit, energy, passion and lifestyle these two beautiful and enthusiastic lovers share. To hear the words of the Billy Joel song is to hear the story of their work and lives with airports and travel, messages, phone calls and emails and then the special time together.

They used this portion of the Billy Joel song: “You’re My Home”

When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be all right
You say, “Use my body for your bed
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night”
Well I’ll never be a stranger and I’ll never be alone
Whenever we’re together, that’s my home

Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Indiana’s early morning dew
High up in the hills of California
Home is just another word for you

This wonderful Oscar Wilde quote easily speaks for itself:

“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.”
From: The Picture of Dorian Gray


Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

Why no images on this blog site?  We feel it is the words you share with each other that are the most important part of your day.