Oscar Wilde and Billy Joel

On Saturday, Kathleen and George celebrated their wedding. They used two pieces for readings that might not ordinarily be associated with a wedding ceremony, however, as unusual as the reading are, they warmly captured the love, lives, spirit, energy, passion and lifestyle these two beautiful and enthusiastic lovers share. To hear the words of the Billy Joel song is to hear the story of their work and lives with airports and travel, messages, phone calls and emails and then the special time together.

They used this portion of the Billy Joel song: “You’re My Home”

When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be all right
You say, “Use my body for your bed
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night”
Well I’ll never be a stranger and I’ll never be alone
Whenever we’re together, that’s my home

Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Indiana’s early morning dew
High up in the hills of California
Home is just another word for you

This wonderful Oscar Wilde quote easily speaks for itself:

“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.”
From: The Picture of Dorian Gray

 

Enjoy,
Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
http://www.createyourownweddingceremony.com
http://www.weddingministersri.com
http://onlytheceremony.com
http://www.recoverysayings.wordpress.com

Why no images on this blog site?  We feel it is the words you share with each other that are the most important part of your day.

Xhosa

Several years ago we came across this wonderful line:
“I am because WE are.”

We don’t know where the line came from, but like a lot of the material surrounding and articulating love and wedding ceremonies, they exist in what we feel are the collective spheres of our universe. Anyway.

We loved the sound and feel of the line but it lacked body and a certain “framing”. We discussed the line and how we feel it tells a part of the story of a part our lives and love. Cheryl wrote this poet to go with the line.

There was a time when I would seek to know myself.
I called myself by many words.
I dressed myself in many robes.
I stood beneath a thousand skies.
And then YOU,
You were before me on the road.
You spoke new words and wore new robes.
The skies were filled with stars.
It was only then that I began to know
what I know about myself.
I am because WE are.
Rev. Cheryl Cavalconte, MA

Enjoy
Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
http://www.weddingministersri.com
http://www.createyourownweddingceremony.com
http://www.recoverysayings.wordpress.com

 

Goodridge v. Massachusetts Dept. of Public Health

Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society.

Marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. “It is an association that promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not commercial or social projects.” Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven and connection that express our common humanity, marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

This reading was given to us by a couple whom we married. The beautiful essay is a redaction of many pages of the court decision.

Goodridge v. Dept. of Public Health, 798 N.E.2d 941 (Mass. 2003), was a landmark state appellate court case dealing with same-sex marriage in Massachusetts. The November 18, 2003, decision was the first by a U.S. state’s highest court to find that same-sex couples had the right to marry. The first legal same-sex marriage occured in Massachusetts in July 2004.

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
http://www.weddingministersri.com

“Love Is A Temporary Madness

“Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.
That is just being ‘in love,’ which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both art and a fortunate accident.
Your roots grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty petals have fallen from your branches, you will find that you are one tree and not two.
From Corelli’s Mandolin

This essay is from the book. The couple who first shared this reading with us, and who subsequently used it in their ceremony, met in a creative writing class. Every aspect of their ceremony was about words, writing, language and the images created by well chosen and woven words.

Enjoy
Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
http://www.weddingministersri.com

Love Is Friendship That Has Caught Fire.

“Love” by William Shakespeare

Love is friendship that has caught fire.
It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving.
It is loyalty through good and bad.
It settles for less than perfection,
and makes allowances for human weakness.
Love is content with the present.
It hopes for the future and does not brood over the past.
It is the day in and day out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals.
If you have love in your life,
it can make up for a great many things you lack.
If you do not have it, no matter what else there is,
it is not enough,
so search for it, ask God for it, and share it.

At least from what we have heard and from some research, this is from The Bard.

Some others have noted it as anonymous.

Regardless, we love this poem. Wonderful for any relationship, but especially for one that is mature.

Enjoy.

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
http://www.weddingministersri.com

Coming Home- A Poem by Mary Oliver

Recently, we celebrated the marriage of two outstanding teachers. For one of their readings during the ceremony they chose Mary Oliver’s Coming Home. They felt this sensitive and intimate poem demonstrated the depth of their love commitment. Mary Oliver is an award-winning American poet born in 1935.

Coming Home
by Mary Oliver

When we are driving in the dark,
on the long road [home],
when we are weary,
when the buildings and the pines lose their familiar look,
I imagine us rising from the speeding car.
I imagine us seeing everything from another place–
the top of one of the pale dunes, or the deep and nameless
fields of the sea.
And what we see is a world that cannot cherish us,
but which we cherish.
And what we see is our life moving like that
along the dark edges of everything,
headlights sweeping the blackness,
believing in a thousand fragile and unprovable things.
Looking out for sorrow,
slowing down for happiness,
making all the right turns
right down to the thumping barriers to the sea,
the swirling waves,
the narrow streets, the houses,
the past, the future,
the doorway that belongs
to you and me.

 

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

http://www.weddingministersri.com

Hugs are Healing

For us, HUGS are HEALING. Hugs are a special place. Hugs allow for the wholeness of two hearts to grow, brought close together by desire, intent, honesty, openness and willingness, all warmed by love. Hugs allow for the healing of the whole body, mind, spirit and the history of two people. Hugs, freely given, and received, receive the universe of another into the obit of each other’s lives. Hugs are and allow for connection. Hugs say “you matter”. Safe, warm, loving hugs are healing. This poem by Shel Silverstein brings a smile to our faces each time we  hear it. May you hug or be hugged  today and win!

“Hug O War” … by Shel Silverstein

“I will not play at Tug O War

I’d rather play at Hug O War

Where everyone hugs

Instead of tugs

Where everyone giggles

And rolls on the rug.

Where everyone kisses,

And everyone grins,

And everyone cuddles,

And everyone wins.

Charlies and Cheryl Cavalconte

http://www.weddingministersri.com

The Apache Blessing- a blessing, a reading, a prayer

We have suggested to couples many times the possible inclusion of  The Apache Blessing in their wedding ceremony. We feel this wonderful piece conveys the depth, warmth and tenderness of two hearts, lives and bodies intimately tied together. The reading states in so many ways “you are one”. We have seen longer versions of the piece, however, we feel there might be challenges to the issue of authenticity with what sounds like an attempt to somehow improve the already perfect. We feel these redactions fall short of the original. Please enjoy this reading/ blessing/ prayer  during your wedding ceremony. We are unaware if there is a specifically named author; most research identifies the writer as anonymous.

 

The Apache Blessing

Now you will feel no rain,

For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness,

For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies,

But there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place,

To enter into the days of your togetherness.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth

 

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

http://www.weddingministersri.com

 

Union – A Heartfelt Essay

The essay entitled “UNION” , is a very popular choice for wedding ceremonies. The reading came to us a few years ago from one of our couples who selected to use the essay during their wedding.  Over this past weekend a wonderful couple, filled with energy and connectedness, used it during their wedding ceremony. Charlie has always found this essay deeply moving. He was so deeply moved yesterday, especially as it related to this couple, he could not  get through the reading without having a wet eye or two.  He feels the reading is a warm and intimate snapshot of what happens to two hearts coming together to become one. The author,  Robert Fulghum, is a minister in the Pacific Northwest. Robert is the author of many bestsellers.

 UNION

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.

 

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

http://www.weddingministersri.com

 

An Uncommon Love -a poem

Last week, at Castle Hill, in Newport, RI, I had the privilege of witnessing the marriage vows of a wonderful couple who shared the following poem as one of their readings. The poem, A Uncommon Love, is a new piece to me and I thought I would share it with you for you to enjoy.

An Uncommon Love

By Terah Cox

May you have the love only two can know.

May you go where only two as one may go.

May the sun rise and set in your bonded hearts and the moon never find you too long apart.

May you cherish each other’s dreams as your own and turn stumbling blocks into steppingstones.

May you brave life’s mountains and miles together.

May there be no storm your love cannot weather.

May you be lovers and allies and friends.

May your soul’s conversation never end.

May you capture on earth what’s in heaven above.

May your hearts know the rapture of an uncommon love.

 

Charles and Cheryl Cavalconte

http://www.weddingministersri.com