Love Is…

We share our planet with about 7 billion people.  Within our human community about 2.25 billion of us profess to be members of a Christian denomination. So, with that sizable statistic, it is pretty fair to say that one of the most popular readings about love is from the very famous Chapter 13 taken from Saint Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians, the “Love is patient, Love is kind” reading. We share with you the following slight variation of that reading we have written. We eliminate the use of the word NOT with its negative implication and focus on the positive. We know the tremendous experience of love is unable to be boxed in by a few small words, however, here is an attempt to give a snapshot of some of the many, many faces, elements and experiences  of what Love Is:

Love is patient

Love is kind.

It is trusting, simple and uncomplicated.

Love is knowing when and how to be the right size

Love is respectful and unselfish.

Love understands, forgives, and celebrates justice.

Love rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

http://www.weddingministersri.com

The Purpose of Our Blog

The name of our blog  “Only The Ceremony” states  our focus. We will discuss a wide spectrum of topics that involve only the (wedding) ceremony. Our blog will focus on the many aspects of what is involved in creating a unique and personal wedding ceremony. We will explore ideas, rituals, prayers, readings, words, actions, colors, and flowers.  We will discuss the various roles of many the people who will help you create your wedding ceremony to make it truly yours.  All of the ideas we are sharing can add to how you are able to create a more uniqueness and personal  ceremony, all the while celebrating the tremendous love and joy you are sharing with each other, with your families and friends and with the world.

In our blog, we will be sharing with you our thoughts, feelings and experiences from what we have culled from the 1700 or so wedding we have celebrated. To date we have already identified over 180 topics to share, and with your input, that number will expand. We will be writing about planning and detailing, the wedding rehearsal, the actual celebration of the ceremony, to the final steps of the recessional that will take you down the aisle into your new life as a married coupled, plus a while lot more! We want you to have the best experience of your celebration, of your wedding, and of your love.

Charlie and Cheryl

http://www.weddingministersri.com

Why Have A Wedding Ceremony?

Why have a wedding ceremony? Great question. Why?

Humans have been creating rituals and rites celebrating major life events since the beginning of time: birth, coupling, death, sickness. These certainly are the big events of a family, a tribe or a community; major miles stones in a family’s life.

Your wedding is one of those tremendous milestones not only in your life, but in the life of both your families and the life of your communities. The love you share and which brings the two of you together, has not only transformed your lives, but has also changed the lives and histories of your families and of your communities. We do not live in a vacuum!

And so why have a wedding ceremony? Because all humans, have this inherent need to celebrate the many aspects of life: love, joy, gifted-ness, gratitude, memory, health and especially the uniqueness of your relationship.  Does the size of the ceremony matter? No. Does who attends matters? Maybe. Does your love need a ritual to set the two of you apart for each other for life? Most certainly!

So, Celebrate!

 

A Thought for Valentine’s Day

Love is the most powerful of all human alchemies. As wedding officiants, we are blessed with the awesome task to witness two human lives changing the course of human history. With the saying of a few words lives are forever transformed.  In the utterance of those few words, two singular orbiting galaxies melt and in their new bond heaven is redesigned, the world is recreated.

And yet, this flash is not a flash, but the result of the silent, ever gradual, metamorphosis of what it takes to grow a human. In this chemistry of time, this pregnancy of relationship, in the womb of presence, words, and emotions, hearts are healed and made whole and this love is born, only to be shared.

May your Valentine’s Day be wonderful.

Charlie and Cheryl

The Day Before Heart Day

We love ee cummings.
He is able to write a few simple familiar words and place them side-by-side
to create a window through which we see eternity.

So, on this day before “Heart Day” here are a few lines at the end of one of his poems:

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e. e. cummings

I carry your heart-four simple words
Plus, six more simple words: I carry it in my heart.

A powerful image that creates wet eyes!

I carry your heart.
How close, gentle, desiring, willing, present.
The lover to the beloved,
the beloved to the lover,
ONE, with no separation, no break.
Each, carrying each.

In their hearts.

Take delight in this day of days before Heart Day

Valentine’s Day and Counting

Valentine’s Day is Friday and everywhere we look this week remind us about love, and so we offer this small reflection:

Recall the lines of Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”

And in her words that follow she calls us to the beauty and intimacy of relationship in the many moments we share with our loving companion.

And so, count the ways yourself: Your love and life with the other human who is your unique special and intimate partner sharing gifts so closely in the space of your lives and hearts together filled with gratitude, wonder, depth, silence, care, security, compassion, abundance and joy. Yes, Count the many many way!

30 Special Words of Love

“I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

If you are reading this you are either preparing for marriage, you are married, or working very closely with those who are preparing to walk down the aisle. These 30 special words, or a variation of them, are the promise of one heart to the other, the foundation of a contract to a relationship that will last a lifetime. These are the words that shine and display the love of one individual for and other.

 A few years ago, Cheryl wrote a meditative reading for one of our wedding ceremonies. The piece has evolved to become a favorite reading within the ceremony of many of our couples. This is what she wrote:  

 Marriage is the best “things” we do as human being. We fall in love. We commit our lives to each other. We share that love with the world. There is no other movement of the heart, idea in our minds, or action in our lives that is greater than sharing our love with another human being. Marriage is the fabric that brings together persons, creates families, defines villages, protects nations, reveres the aging, and strives for perfection. It spurs the soul to greater and deeper love. Marriage is the strength that overcomes adversity, holds together when the world is falling apart around it, endures when all else seems lost, and suffices when the need is the greatest. Marriage fills the lover with certainty, teaches patience, nurtures creativity, and demands vigilance against all that would want to destroy it.Marriage remains when all the light and frivolous feelings and desires of youth have faded into the years. Marriage, when tended by fidelity and understanding, sustains both the lovers and their love.    ~Cheryl Cavalconte~

Cheryl and I are happily and deliciously married.  We feel being in a committed married relationship is the best thing in the world that calls us to wholeness, and healing, that is supportive, caring, sensitive, warm, challenging, and stretching. A relationship where there is fun, laughs, serious conversation, genuine concern, safe, tender hugs, compassion, listening with the heart, and honesty, openness, and willingness to each hold each other close. I can continue to name all the wonderful aspects of marriage and love and yet not truly nor totally describe the love shared by you and by each individual couple since each relationship is totally unique. The music composer Peter Iiyich Tchaikovsky says “we do not speak enough about good marriages!” We totally agree with him. So here is to all of you who are in good healthy relationships and are on the threshold of marriage, in love with being in love and are willing to continue to grow each and every day.

 Charlie and Cheryl www.weddingministersri.com

Next Time our Blog topic will be:  Thoughts About Your Ceremony

 

 

Christmas

We share our planet with about 7 billion other people, and for about 2.4 billion Christians, this week is the celebration of  Christmas.  And if all the joys and feelings of Christmas are not enough, there are thousands, if not millions, of couples worldwide who, in the next few days would have said those very special words, in hundreds of different languages, that will move them from friends and lovers to engaged.
Engaged, that most  wonderful awkward place of nerves and sweaty palms and bended knee, (yes, a lot of people still do that) of asking, hoping, surrendering, of saying yes, of being received, and thus changing the course of the history of your life as an individual, your lives as a couple, the lives of your families and thus the history of the human race. The place of planning and hoping, the place where you, your love and your coupleness stand up and say to the world: here we are in love and we want to share our love with each other, and our togetherness with the world forever! What better gift is there than that?
May the joy of this holiday spill forth from your hearts and fill the world with love, joy and peace.