Who is Walking Whom Down the Aisle?

There are lots of options about how to “get down the aisle” to the place of your wedding ceremony:
The classic one: Dad with bride
Then Dad and Mom with bride
Then sometimes Mom only with bride.
Then there are the variations with a male family or friend walking bride
Sometimes bride and her children
Sometimes bride and THEIR children
Sometimes bride and groom and their children
Sometimes the couple themselves walk down the aisle hand in hand:
Bride and groom
Bride and bride
Groom and groom

But grooms, whatever you do- DO NOT- repeat  DO NOT arrive by helicopter, or boat or parachute or ATV or tractor or any other means and have it be a surprise to your bride and her mother!

Most importantly, let the ritual of your wedding ceremony reflect the reality of your love and lives.

Reminder: while walking down the aisle and who does the honors  to walk with you is a tradition, it is also a tradition that has a bit of a dark side. The tradition, also called “giving away”, recalls a time of prearranged marriages and the subservient place of a woman to her birth family now being transferred to her marriage family. We have come along way, however, there is a constant need for mindful awareness of marriage being a lifegiving, mutual, collaborative, and equal partnership in love.

Enjoy
Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
http://www.weddingministersri.com

Ceremony Seating

Last Saturday, May 3, our anniversary, and Derby Day, we celebrated a wonderful, warm, and intimate wedding at the Five Bridges Inn in Rehoboth, MA . The following sign was at the end of the aisle as guest walked to the ceremony area. This was our first encounter with this statement. We think it is a very lovely thought to set a wonderful feeling and tone for the day.

 Please choose a seat not a side

We are all a family

Once  the knot is tied.

Have a wonderful and love filled day.

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

www.weddingministersri.com

Who is walking you down the aisle?

This is easily one of the most hotly contested subjects at the wedding rehearsal and later after the ceremony. Almost every person who has thought about getting married somehow sees him or herself walking down the aisle one way or the other. But how?

Our blog for today will consider the more traditional wedding. More often than not the male groomsmen, with the groom (Partner A), enters the ceremony site somewhat unceremoniously from the side and stands at the top of the aisle at the ceremony site, waiting for the balance of the bridal party to arrive: grand parents, parents, brides maids and then the bride (Partner B) walks down the aisle. So now the question: who is going to walk the bride down the aisle? There are several options: the most traditional is with dad or a male member of the family, then there area few other options: mom and dad together, whether bride parent’s are divorced or not. The bride walking with her children, regardless of whether the children are older or younger. Then, there is the bride coming down the aisle by herself. Lastly, a sort of new trend: bride and groom walk down the aisle together fully representing what the celebration is about: The two of them getting married to each other.

We would further like to suggest the language of “giving the bride away” as really no longer a fitting or even an acceptable phrase since it comes from a time when marriages were arranged and women were consider chattel. We have had many conversations with professional women: doctors, nurses, lawyers, college professors, company presidents, and founders, teachers, etc.: women who have been very successful in the worlds of business, academics, arts and science and yet some how have been talked into feeling the need to be accompanied and walked down the aisle. We ask the question: What does walking down the aisle accompanied by another “giving you away” say or symbolically represent? Is this a message you want to present? We pose the question for conversation.

Yes, there are traditions, however, how do they speak to this generation?