VOWS: Ways To Celebrate Your love

Each couple feels differently about the way they actually say/proclaim their marriage wedding vows. We have seen couples celebrate their vows in a few different ways. Below are a some ideas about how you are able to  share your vows with each other before your families and friends.

1-The celebrant/minister/officiant asks each one of the couple a few questions and each responds individually with “I DO” to the questions.

2-The celebrant/minister/officiant asks the vow questions to the couple as a couple and the couple responds together as a couple saying “WE DO” to the questions.

3-The celebrant/minister/officiant reads a few words and each one of the couple “Repeats” the words spoken by the officiant after the officiant, thus the statement: “Repeat after me”

4- The couple reads their vows to each other. This style has the couple focused on the reading of the vows holding the paper/card/book that the vows are written on. This presents challenges if the couple wants to both hold both hands and look into each others eyes. The focus becomes more on reading the vows than being focused on each other.

5-The celebrant/minister/officiant asks each party a question and each responds individually with “I DO” to the question OR the celebrant asks the couple the vow questions to the couple as a couple and the couple responds together as a couple saying “WE DO” to the questions. THEN the celebrant/minister/officiant reads a few words to each one of the couple individually and each individually “Repeats” the words spoken by the officiant.

6-Any combination of the about that will work the best for the two of you.

We strongly encourage not to share your vows from memory since the focus of “wanting to remember the vows perfectly” creates further anxiety by of not wanting to make a mistake if will the vows be remembered correctly. Speaking the vows from memory often becomes the focus, so much of the ceremony is missed due to the worry about “getting the vows right and will I remember them”.

We hope you have enjoyed your visit and this has been helpful.

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
Wedding Celebrants, Ceremony Script Writers, Consultants
Please like us, share and visit our other sites to help prepare for your big day.
Www.createyourownweddingceremony.com
Www.weddingministersri.com
We are extremely pleased to have Caitlin Nash, MPH, RD, LDN join us to help prepare you and your body for the big day. Cait is a Personal Trainer, Registered Dietician & Beachboy Coach.
Please visit her exciting websites. Let her help you become a healthier you:
Www.shakeology.com/caitRD
Www.teambeachbody.com/caitRD
Www.facebook.com/CaitNashRD

Why no images on our blog?  Wedding images come and go and there are so many and so varied. We feel it is the words you share with each other, during your wedding ceremony, that are some of the most significant and intimate words you will ever share and, like gems, are personally yours.

3 Shakespeare and a Nash

Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Excerpt from Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
admit impediments.
Love is not love
 which alters when it alteration finds,
or bends with the remover to remove:
Oh, no! It is an ever-fix’d mark.
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
it is the star to every wandering bark,
whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
within his bending sickle’s compass come;
love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
but bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me prov’d,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971)
Geniuses of countless nations
Have told their love for generations
Till all their memorable phrases
Are common as goldenrod or daisies.
Their girls have glimmered like the moon,
Or shimmered like a summer moon,
Stood like a lily, fled like a fawn,
Mow the sunset, now the dawn,
Here the princess in the tower
There the sweet forbidden flower.
Darling, when I look at you
Every aged phrase is new,
And there are moments when it seems
I’ve married one of Shakespeare’s dreams.

Thanks for stopping by.
Enjoy,

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

We hope you have enjoyed your visit.
Please like us and share and visit our other sites to help prepare for the big day.
Www.createyourownweddingceremony.com
Www.weddingministersri.com
We are extremely pleased to have Caitlin Nash, MPH, RD, LDN help prepare you and your body for the big day.Cait is a Personal Trainer, Registered Dietician & Beachboy Coach.
Please visit her exciting websites.
Let her help you become a healthier you:
Www.shakeology.com/caitRD
Www.teambeachbody.com/caitRD
Www.facebook.com/CaitNashRD

Why no images in this blog? We feel the words you share with each other during your wedding ceremony are some of the most important words you will ever share with each other.

Who is Walking Whom Down the Aisle?

There are lots of options about how to “get down the aisle” to the place of your wedding ceremony:
The classic one: Dad with bride
Then Dad and Mom with bride
Then sometimes Mom only with bride.
Then there are the variations with a male family or friend walking bride
Sometimes bride and her children
Sometimes bride and THEIR children
Sometimes bride and groom and their children
Sometimes the couple themselves walk down the aisle hand in hand:
Bride and groom
Bride and bride
Groom and groom

But grooms, whatever you do- DO NOT- repeat  DO NOT arrive by helicopter, or boat or parachute or ATV or tractor or any other means and have it be a surprise to your bride and her mother!

Most importantly, let the ritual of your wedding ceremony reflect the reality of your love and lives.

Reminder: while walking down the aisle and who does the honors  to walk with you is a tradition, it is also a tradition that has a bit of a dark side. The tradition, also called “giving away”, recalls a time of prearranged marriages and the subservient place of a woman to her birth family now being transferred to her marriage family. We have come along way, however, there is a constant need for mindful awareness of marriage being a lifegiving, mutual, collaborative, and equal partnership in love.

Enjoy
Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte
http://www.weddingministersri.com

When Tragedy Befalls a Wedding.

This past weekend Lakeville Pavilion, a very popular wedding venue in Foxboro, MA, not far from Gillette Stadium home to the NE Patriots, where we have celebrated many weddings, had a massive fire during a wedding, destroying the venue, and subsequently the dreams and plans of many, many couples for this season and next. Our hearts go out to all who have been touched by this tragedy.

So, what would you do, if a tragedy like, death, fire, accident, sudden hospitalization, or something similar occurred to you or your family? As wedding officiants, we have unfortunately shared in a few of these tragic experiences and they are emotionally devastating to the couple and their families. Naturally, most people do not like to speak about these events, however we feel it worth noting.

First, and gratefully, the statics for these incidents occurring are very rare. Second, from our experience, these tragedies have been the opportunity for a couple and their families, to put their best foot forward. It did not matter whether the families were rich or poor, sophisticated and educated or not, across the board, the families stepped up to the plate and made the most sincere and genuine contribution to ease the pain, as best as they possibly could, during these sudden and tragic times. These are not the times to blame any one for anything. These are times for compassion and comfort, for understanding and sensitivity. These are the times for love to be the profound healing presence necessary in the life of the couple, the families and the guests. Each circumstance is different and is experienced differently by each person involved. We personally feel it is essential to come together and not to isolate; others want to be present and supportive to those hurt by these events. We believe people are good and want to be helpful. In these sad times, please, come together with family and close friends, some food, not too much wine, and have time together. Allow the pace to slow down to be together, to listen and consult with each other in order to make the best decisions given the circumstances. Please, forget past family resentments, they are useless. Breath. Let the silly, foolish and sometimes thoughtless things people say, in their feeble attempts to ease your pain, go. If you pray, invite your higher power into the situation. No one wishes a tragedy on anyone, least of all a bridal couple days or hours before or after their wedding, however, if unfortunately the moment arises, watch how the power, spirit and sensitivity of love, healing and compassion rises from the hearts of good men, women and children, who care, love and are instruments of peace.

Charlie and Cheryl Cavalconte

http://www.weddingministersri.com

 

The Purpose of Our Blog

The name of our blog  “Only The Ceremony” states  our focus. We will discuss a wide spectrum of topics that involve only the (wedding) ceremony. Our blog will focus on the many aspects of what is involved in creating a unique and personal wedding ceremony. We will explore ideas, rituals, prayers, readings, words, actions, colors, and flowers.  We will discuss the various roles of many the people who will help you create your wedding ceremony to make it truly yours.  All of the ideas we are sharing can add to how you are able to create a more uniqueness and personal  ceremony, all the while celebrating the tremendous love and joy you are sharing with each other, with your families and friends and with the world.

In our blog, we will be sharing with you our thoughts, feelings and experiences from what we have culled from the 1700 or so wedding we have celebrated. To date we have already identified over 180 topics to share, and with your input, that number will expand. We will be writing about planning and detailing, the wedding rehearsal, the actual celebration of the ceremony, to the final steps of the recessional that will take you down the aisle into your new life as a married coupled, plus a while lot more! We want you to have the best experience of your celebration, of your wedding, and of your love.

Charlie and Cheryl

http://www.weddingministersri.com

Why Have A Wedding Ceremony?

Why have a wedding ceremony? Great question. Why?

Humans have been creating rituals and rites celebrating major life events since the beginning of time: birth, coupling, death, sickness. These certainly are the big events of a family, a tribe or a community; major miles stones in a family’s life.

Your wedding is one of those tremendous milestones not only in your life, but in the life of both your families and the life of your communities. The love you share and which brings the two of you together, has not only transformed your lives, but has also changed the lives and histories of your families and of your communities. We do not live in a vacuum!

And so why have a wedding ceremony? Because all humans, have this inherent need to celebrate the many aspects of life: love, joy, gifted-ness, gratitude, memory, health and especially the uniqueness of your relationship.  Does the size of the ceremony matter? No. Does who attends matters? Maybe. Does your love need a ritual to set the two of you apart for each other for life? Most certainly!

So, Celebrate!

 

30 Special Words of Love

“I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

If you are reading this you are either preparing for marriage, you are married, or working very closely with those who are preparing to walk down the aisle. These 30 special words, or a variation of them, are the promise of one heart to the other, the foundation of a contract to a relationship that will last a lifetime. These are the words that shine and display the love of one individual for and other.

 A few years ago, Cheryl wrote a meditative reading for one of our wedding ceremonies. The piece has evolved to become a favorite reading within the ceremony of many of our couples. This is what she wrote:  

 Marriage is the best “things” we do as human being. We fall in love. We commit our lives to each other. We share that love with the world. There is no other movement of the heart, idea in our minds, or action in our lives that is greater than sharing our love with another human being. Marriage is the fabric that brings together persons, creates families, defines villages, protects nations, reveres the aging, and strives for perfection. It spurs the soul to greater and deeper love. Marriage is the strength that overcomes adversity, holds together when the world is falling apart around it, endures when all else seems lost, and suffices when the need is the greatest. Marriage fills the lover with certainty, teaches patience, nurtures creativity, and demands vigilance against all that would want to destroy it.Marriage remains when all the light and frivolous feelings and desires of youth have faded into the years. Marriage, when tended by fidelity and understanding, sustains both the lovers and their love.    ~Cheryl Cavalconte~

Cheryl and I are happily and deliciously married.  We feel being in a committed married relationship is the best thing in the world that calls us to wholeness, and healing, that is supportive, caring, sensitive, warm, challenging, and stretching. A relationship where there is fun, laughs, serious conversation, genuine concern, safe, tender hugs, compassion, listening with the heart, and honesty, openness, and willingness to each hold each other close. I can continue to name all the wonderful aspects of marriage and love and yet not truly nor totally describe the love shared by you and by each individual couple since each relationship is totally unique. The music composer Peter Iiyich Tchaikovsky says “we do not speak enough about good marriages!” We totally agree with him. So here is to all of you who are in good healthy relationships and are on the threshold of marriage, in love with being in love and are willing to continue to grow each and every day.

 Charlie and Cheryl www.weddingministersri.com

Next Time our Blog topic will be:  Thoughts About Your Ceremony